We need change

The most terrible thing is the fear. Fear alternating with hope. 

Do you say the right things in front of the person who is authorized to decide whether you can stay in the country or not? Do you use the right legal terms to get a chance for future? 

My stomach ist aching. I wanna cry but my body is only able to lay on the bed turning to a stone, not thinking, not fearing not hoping anymore. In my mind appears the voice of the lady from the foreigners´ registration office:„We don´t know why people can stay or why not, some cases seem hopeless and than the they decide the person can stay“. I think she want´s to cheer us up with this information but I`am looking at here dumbfounded. These are people lives she is talking about. And these people did risk there lives to come here and left everything behind. In this office it seems to be like a funny roulette, some make it to the target and some not. For me it feels like a dangerous despotism. 

I´m loosing it, i´can´t control it anymore, I don´t know how to fight, I´don´t know how to raise my voice anymore. I do not want to have anything to do with this hole system. People who talk like that, people who look at me, who look at us like that. But it´s not possible - even if I close my eyes this terrible feeling is still there and my hand is intertwined to another hand and in my body there is beating a little heart of a little live that needs to be protected as well as the live of his father.

I don´t know what the future will bring. I can only hope. The fear is a devoted companion but some day we will part from each other.Things will change.